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Denise FattyThighs

A letter a day to 30 different people.
30 Letters

.Saturday, August 14, 2010 ' 5:52 PM Y

Day 10- Fast forward.

I hope when the exams are all done.
Everything will go back to once we were before when school started out.
Will it?
I rather see my friends smile then a tear.
It hurts badly to see someone you care for crying.
Be it alone or in front of others.
I know life is tough.
Isn't it always?
Each and everyone have their own problems.
But we still gotta learn to move on.
I really like having friends.
Bffs, close friends, good friends.
People who we can confide in.
I like the feeling.
To joke around, monkey. Make a fool out of myself.
As long as my friends are happy, it can put a smile to my face.
& i love my clique now in poly & i don't wish for it to split.

Those who appear the happiest. Might just be the saddest. Don't judge a book by its cover. ;)

Labels: 30 Letters

You're all I ever wanted ;

.Wednesday, August 04, 2010 ' 10:50 PM Y

Day 9 - You know i'm typing this to who

Sometimes, if you just believe in us.
This friendship will work.
Why? Why are you stopping it?
=( First person to talk to me when i entered school.
You.
& I sincerely cherish it even if others condemn you due to some reasons.
But, I won't.
Can we be good friends? =(
I'm willing to chat with you about your troubles everything even if it takes more than 24 hrs.
& yes my grades sucks big time.
I might be look down upon you cause you're a perfectionist.
But I don't care, friends should help each other tide through any problems right?
Is it so hard to open up?

Denise

Labels: 30 Letters

You're all I ever wanted ;

.Monday, August 02, 2010 ' 3:18 PM Y

Nothing goes smoothly.
Day 8 - Life

Talk about life and what would you think of?
The past. The suicidal. The rebels.
Last night, my nightmares replayed over and over.
Tears welled down.
I thought about the future.
I thought about other kids my age.
Finance was always in my way of growth.
But I know this problem will also help me to grow up future.
I know I should not cry, but it just felt so miserable.
But oh well..
I will pull through in this 3 years.
I will not disappoint myself.
Although my results are like freak shitty now.
Hell yea' with a D for almost all subjects.
No more suicidal thoughts.
No more tears.
I will be strong. Cause I still have my sisters by my side.
I believe I will pull through with their moral support.
& the warmth from my ah ma and e-po.
They want me to continue studying and stop worrying about $$$.
If daddy can't pay my fees, they will.
Second sis too saved up via insurance and said in case I need to pay school fees for next year.
She has ready cash from her insurance.
I felt so blessed. Without them, I think I will crash.
Crash dead. Really.
I'm just hiding behind those sorrows behind that smile you all see.
I'm not strong as I seem.

Denise
Labels: 30 Letters

You're all I ever wanted ;

.Thursday, July 29, 2010 ' 11:21 PM Y

Lovers or ex-lovers out there.
Day 8- Letter of hidden truths.

Sometimes I wonder, why do people lie?
To cover up or to prevent hurting someone?
Is it due to lack of courage?
What if you finally muster up the courage and tell the truth.
But the person is hurt. But told the truth, harder blow.
There goes, POW. Just like this is enough to make one.
One who love you so much suffer like hell.
Maybe not really hell. I guess hell's worse.
But seriously.. If there's no love between each other anymore.
Why not just be honest and end the misery?
Isn't it better to be honest in the hearts affair?
Think through. Period.

xoxo
Denise.

When all is lost and gone.
Labels: 30 Letters

You're all I ever wanted ;

.Tuesday, July 20, 2010 ' 11:10 PM Y

Too lazy to put blockquote.
Day 7 - Letter to everyone.

I still remember the first day I got to school, (SH)you sat beside me.
I was happy, cause i'm super anti-social.
If you had not come up to sit beside me, I would not have open up.
I would not have got to know the class better.
For this, I want to thank you very much for that.
Thank you for opening the lock in my heart.
But still, I fear of the class as many people say, there will be ALOT of politics in class.
I look and I see, the class seems fine. Doubt anything will happen to us.
But I was wrong. Some are still conceal in a mask which I don't know who, but i'm super sensitive to people's face expression and emotions and actions.
I can read you all.
Some don't dare to voice out what they really want to say to others.
Afraid of hurting, afraid of this and that.
Who isn't afraid? I'm afraid of hurting others too.
But I rather let them know the truth, than keep it in my heart.
Writing a letter is also fine to tell the other how you feel.
I guess. That's when it's hard to open your mouth.
I don't know. I thought this class was perfect.
But now.. I think i'm really shutting myself down literally.
All this shit is happening. & I don't know what's going on.
Projects are killer I can say.
A beautiful friendship blooming, yet destroy cause of it.
I guess from the start. What my eyes saw are not what my heart felt.
This class.. It might be just so fake.
I was hoping, hoping to see true friends in this school by sacrificing not working this month.
I can't survive without working for a job, but I also don't want to disappoint my teammates.
I want to be able to rush all deadlines given so that no one will be drag down.
I don't know. This tears, they can't seem to stop today.
I guess i'm at my limits.
I may be a joyful girl, but today. I feel the worst.
What are friends if they can't open up to each other?
I want happy ending between our clique.
I don't want each other to feel so awkward together.
I don't like it.
I DON'T! I like peace.
But why?!
I want to isolate myself so badly.
From everyone.
Labels: 30 Letters

You're all I ever wanted ;

.Friday, July 02, 2010 ' 12:53 AM Y

Day 6 - Letter to my heart
Is this what I rly want?

Sometimes, I keep asking myself.
Why do I have to go through all this hardship?
Why must I live alone, have a broken family.
And at times, I would ask myself. Are all this guy worth sacrificing?
Do they really love me?
Why would they love me? I'm nt pretty.
But now, I know what I want.
I know what I'm aiming for.
And nothing is gonna stop me.
Not even my failing results.
I will definitely pass my main exams and score well in my projects.
No matter what!

In a blink of eye.
Denise
Labels: 30 Letters

You're all I ever wanted ;

.Wednesday, June 30, 2010 ' 7:20 PM Y

Day 5 - Letter to Jeff.

Poetry in verse.

Dearest boy,

I love thee, as I love the calm
Of sweet, star-lighted hours!
I love thee, as I love the balm
Of early jes'mine flow'rs.
I love thee, as I love the last
Rich smile of fading day,
Which lingereth, like the look we cast,
On rapture pass'd away.
I love thee as I love the bed
Of some soft-breathing moan
Whose soul is wak'd for me alone,
When all beside is mute.
I love thee. =)

With love
Your girl,
Denise
Labels: 30 Letters

You're all I ever wanted ;

.Tuesday, June 29, 2010 ' 11:09 PM Y

The start of the wails.
Day 4 - Letter to Sister(s).

The blood ties.

Dearest sister(s),

You know I love you both. & you both know you love me. So no matter what happens, what stupid arguments we always have. What tears we shed when we argued, but I just want to let you both know. If there were someone even better than you both who wants me as their sister, I won't budge. Cause in my eyes, Er Jie, even though with her temper, but she's kind within and always protecting me, helping me to voice out and even argued with 'her' for slapping me and etc. Da Jie, despite not acting like one who all she knows is to havoc, but she has her kind side too. But both of them although have their imperfections, I like them and love them. You both are perfect in my eyes, and I would trade the rest of my life to be sister with you 2 for the rest of my next life and next and so on. I love you Felicia & Fiona Neo. Although we stay far away from each other, but our hearts will always be 1. Thank you so much for being my Da Jie & Er Jie. =)
The good & bad memories, we got through tgt.
Your annoying lil sister,
Denise
Labels: 30 Letters

You're all I ever wanted ;

.Monday, June 28, 2010 ' 8:29 PM Y

Bad start.
Day 3 - Letter to Poly Friend(s).

It all start with a hi, and end with a bye.

Dearest 1H04,

I'm sorry for the commotion that happen today. I never wanted it to happen. We tried to persuade the teacher, but he wouldn' get it in. It's like he changed into a furious monster and said NO. I gave them 5 minutes and it's up. I felt bad, having to separate the group. Especially those who have had their FILA done. I'm really regretful. Maybe this is poly life. Maybe some people might hate me. Thinking why did this damn girl came into our class and cause so much commotion. I'm sorry. I know i'm out of place. I'm not a graduate from 'o' levels like you girls. I don't even remember all the damn emaths formula. I wasn't good at my science nor geography, needless to say history. And it doesn't mean that cause I managed to get into TP's HTM course after graduating from ITE means i'm smart. No. I was never a brilliant star from the start. If you guys think I was one. Think highly of me, and when you all see my grades and start to shun me, thinking that I will cause you all to flunk in the projects. I'm sorry to say so. I go all out for our projects till I got no time to study at all for the exam. And yes! Dian is seldom at school, but still, we all should not give up on her just because of this right? When I first came to school, I thought, this class was perfect. They're friendly, there won't be politics. I guess I said it too fast. After today's awkward incident, I doubt there won't be any politics. I'm also rly rly grateful to Yong Qin today for being such a gentleman and sacrificing his 'life'. Thank you for wanting to help solve the situation by agreeing to join our grp, although teacher still split all of us up. But i'm really grateful to you, you made me, xy and siti felt relieve. But I guess afterall, it's human nature to stand at where they are then to start from scratch right? Won't blame anyone. Cause i'm taking this whole incident on myself. For being so unproductive. Reflections daily is what I need now. All criticism is welcome about me. It's through critics that I get to grow up, to realize my mistakes and to reflect. You are all a part of my life that helps me to grow. Thk you so much 1H04.
Till our loads are lessen, and our woes are gone.
Your last minute classmate,
Denise
Labels: 30 Letters

You're all I ever wanted ;

.Sunday, June 27, 2010 ' 4:02 AM Y

Day 2 - Letter to Laptop, eee pc.

Even thou you are not here.

Dearest laptop,

Sorry for losing you. My heart's a wrench now. I only had you for 2+ months. SIGHS BIG TIME! All my projects gone. Effort down the drain.

I'm sorry.
Your owner,
Denise
Labels: 30 Letters

You're all I ever wanted ;

.Saturday, June 26, 2010 ' 6:24 PM Y

Decided to do this along with my babe Diana.
Day 1 - Letter to Parents(s).

Even thou you are not here.

Dearest father & mummy,

Life was a mess when mummy was gone. We were left alone at home. With no one guiding us, no one teaching us. My whole life came crashing down when all this unbearable pain came a toil over me. I even attempted suicide. Dad remarried, keeps going overseas. When I was young. I got so jealous over all my classmates who had a perfect family. But when I gradually grow up, with not much concern, skipping school, drinking & smoking. All this just to get my dad's attention, to get him to notice me and not his new-found wife. I miss daddy's gentleness whom used to teach me in my studies. To bring me out to badminton, to bring me out to eat and even his cooking. Yes, my dad cooks! But he's just too busy with his new life. 'She' once said that i'm disrupting her family caused I was staying with them. It hurts alot. All I can do was cry and feel so helpless. I was really useless back then, I won't deny. Been living alone for 3years now. But throughout all this process, I've learn alot. I want to thank both my parents, cause by going through all this ordeal, it's when I get to know life day by day, mature month by month, and appreciate what I have now year by year. Mummy, don't worry about me. I'm doing fine, and i'm so sorry that you believe in me, my grades were perfect till you left. I know i'm not stupid, I just pretended to be. But by pretending, I have gradually become stupid without realizing it due to not using my brains much. But mummy, I just want to tell you, i'm in Poly now studying HTM, Yr 1. Don't worry, I won't give up so easily this time. I will overcome all obstacles no matter what. IMY and daddy. I miss jie(s) too. I miss those happy times, but nothing could turn back time.

Can you hear me?
Your daughter,
Denise
Labels: 30 Letters

You're all I ever wanted ;